ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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