definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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