dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
