i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
