xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
time to smoke my breakfast
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Randomize
