I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
