I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
