Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
