Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize