Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
