But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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