just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
