Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
