Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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