OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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