when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
