Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
