i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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