Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen