To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?