Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
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The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience