I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
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If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?