I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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