How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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