you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
