You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
