remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
