I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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