woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
