if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
