the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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