I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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