It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Enjoy the penises
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
