Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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