booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
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