Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
