I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize