it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize