Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
