No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
