Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
