The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We were destined to go to rehab together
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
