The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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