Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
