My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
