i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
