Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
