There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
