Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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