Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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