don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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