Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize