It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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