I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
