i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
