She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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