Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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