I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
