You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
please come you make the beer taste better
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
