the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
