who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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