i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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