Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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