it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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