That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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