So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
