We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
