Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
